Get a life!

I don’t believe I fully appreciated the difficulty of leaving one life and trying to build another one elsewhere. I would love to start exploring Brazil and share all my findings here, but the first month has, unfortunately, been mostly an internal exploration. I have completely left my comfort zone and I’m trying to find out who I am in this new adventure. Please know that everything written below has been written with a big smile, so no worries about my well-being!

I wrote last time that who you are is very much defined by what you do, but actually, what you do is defined by who you are. People, therefore, have a constant need to identify themselves and then, in fact, what you do becomes an essential part of who you are again. At the moment I have no identity except being Florentine, from Holland. In my life in Holland, I was someone’s old friend, someone’s sister, someone’s colleague, classmate and I was approached accordingly. By my way of dressing, speaking and by reputation, perhaps, people knew who I was and there was no need to proof anything to them or myself.

Here it’s very different; first of all I can’t talk to anyone! Most of the time I feel quite invisible when people speak in Portuguese around me. I feel guilty and frustrated that I can’t talk to them, can’t express myself and loose a big part of being able to…well…be myself! For the rest there is only one person here who has known me for more than a month. To the rest I’m just the new Dutch girl – no idea of what I can do, what I like, what makes me happy or who I am really.

This lack of identity forces me to trust myself to be me without any reassurance of who that is. At home people could say: ‘O, that’s typically you!’, ‘That’s really something you’d love to do!’ or ‘I’m sure you can do that, seeing your past achievements!’ Here everything I do is new to everyone around me and this makes me doubtful sometimes.

When I was told yesterday to: Get a life! It was the best advice I’ve gotten so far. That’s all I need to do – get a life, create a ‘new’ identity and start doing what I want to do!

This new life starts today in Sao Paulo. After leaving Rio for Sao Paulo I ended up staying here until now. I’ve just moved to my own room in a very nice house, with a cat, a garden and two nice roommates. For the first time in more than a month I have unpacked my stuff and I own a key!! I spent a great weekend in Paraty – a beautiful paradise place and now I’m ready to get a life; really start learning this stupid language (as I have lovingly started to refer to Portuguese) and make a plan! I’ll be here for at least a month, but I’ll keep you all posted of my findings!

I’m on Skype a lot if people feel like talking and catching up…maybe adding a phrase or two about how this is typically me or how this is something I’d love to do.. :D!

Flo as Donald Duck

This might be a strange title to describe my first experience here in Brazil, but when you watch the following movie on YouTube you will understand:

The way Jose Carioca talks and acts is exactly the way I have been approached in my first weeks in Rio!

I would also like to take this opportunity to state my support for 'Ze' Carioca to become the mascotte for the Olympics in 2016!

So..what do you do?

It might be a cliche to start this blog’s first story with the purpose of my journey, but for the last three weeks (my first in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) this has been the main question everybody (including myself) has been asking me. It makes sense, as people are very much defined by what they do..but what if, like me, you don’t really do anything?

To be honest, I am doing something, just not something you can put on your Linkedin profile...

The first weeks in Rio and Brazil have been about adjusting to this marvelous city and country, getting to know my way around and starting to learn some Portuguese. For the first week I was under the guidance of my two great hosts Henrique and Helena. Both have been such a great help! We visited most places in Rio, like Ipanema, Copacobana, Leblon, Santa Teresa and Lapa. Last weekend we spent a really great weekend in Belo Horizonte, visiting more friends and relaxing with BBQ´s, swimmingpools and a great football match! Tomorrow I´m leaving for São Paulo for another adventure and I hope to be in Salvador next week as well.

Since last week Sunday my home base has been ´the Mango Tree´ in Ipanema; a great hostel, right next to the small language school, where I have my Portuguese lessons. After a first week of denial I was forced to start asking myself some questions as I was meeting new people and every second question (after: where are you from?) seems to be: So, what is it you do…?

When asked the question I’ve started saying things like: ´well, not much at the moment, you?´ Or I talk about my studies and what I might want to do; finding out then that most people require more explanation than: ´creating worldwide awareness about global injustice...´ I guess hostels and places like these are filled with people like me out to save the world, but still it is hard sometimes to keep a steady course, when everybody is either on holidays with a great job waiting at home, or in between jobs due to economic crisis. I try to explain that this is more than a sabbatical and more than a gap year, this is trying to define what I would like to do with my life, without being all spiritual and rebellious about it.

And so, I have to tell myself almost every day when I wake up without a plan and without an idea for the future to not panic! The right answers are out there, I just have to ask myself the right questions.

Strange how the world sometimes requires you to be ´something´. At the moment I am just a person in search of what I would like to be doing in this world. I´ll be visiting projects, talking to interesting people and, as time goes by, I will try out some interesting things myself. Ideas have already begun to form, I just don´t know how to say them in Portuguese yet....

If you are interested in following my ideas, findings and travels you can register for this blog, so that you receive notification when new messages are posted. I also keep a Dutch blog with a more day-to-day update: florentineversteeg.waarbenjij.nu

For now, just to translate the subtitle of the blog: you are only wasting time, if you forget to enjoy it!

Het begin / The beginning

Op 26 september is het zover: ik ga op reis! Ik heb eind juli mijn baan opgezegd en eind deze maand vlieg ik naar Rio de Janeiro voor een reis van zes maanden door Brazilië en de rest van Zuid-Amerika. Het plan is om projecten te bezoeken, veel te zien en te reizen en hopelijk ideeën op te doen voor eventuele toekomstige projecten. Op deze blog zal ik regelmatig (voornamelijk in het Engels) verhalen en foto's plaatsen over mijn reis. Verder ben ik te volgen op Twitter en Facebook.

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On the 26th of September I'll be leaving on my journey! I quit my job end of July and end of this month I'll be flying to Rio de Janeiro! This will be the start of a six month journey through Brazil and the rest of South America. The idea is to visit projects, see and travel a lot en hopefully get some inspiration for my future plans. On this I will post regular updates (mostly in English) and pictures of my trip! You can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook.